Advice for the Groom

wedding-1031493_640As the groom, it’s your big day. People are there because they love you and want the day to go well for you. They are your friends and family (old and new) – who would wish you ill out of that lot?

I still remember the feelings when I realised that I was going to have to stand up, in front of all my friends and family (plus many others) at my own wedding.

Dread; horror; what if I mess up; what if I embarrass myself…

A lot of my friends and family had never seen me speak in front of a crowd before. Even though I was confident enough to know that I could do a good job, I still worried about freezing and making a fool of myself.

Of course, it is perfectly natural to feel all of these things, and more. However, there are plenty of reasons why the groom, of anyone, can be confident of a great reception from everyone at that wedding.

  • First off is an obvious one: it’s your wedding day. Everyone’s going to want you to do well as a result and will want you to have the best possible day.
  • You will be one of the key people of the day, after the bride of course. Everyone will want the bride to have the perfect day. As her new husband, you’ll benefit from that. They will be willing you to do the most amazing speech and as such will be on your side all the way.
  • In any case, pretty much everyone there will either be related to you or be your friend. That’s probably the most sympathetic and supportive crowd you could ever hope for.
  • As I said above, it’s natural to worry about making a fool of yourself. But there are key ways to make sure you don’t do that. Prepare and practise properly. Don’t do or say anything you’re not comfortable with. If you think a joke’s not going to work, then don’t use it.

At the end of the day, your role is simply to thank the father of the bride and the guests. The expectations for being hilarious lies on the best man. Anything you say or do to make people laugh is a bonus.




Peter D Oxley
Pete Oxley is a freelance writer and business manager who lives in the English Home Counties. He enjoys reading and writing in a wide range of areas but his main passions are sci-fi, fantasy, historical fiction and Steampunk. Influences include HG Wells, Charles Dickens, Neil Gaiman, KW Jeter, Scott Lynch, Clive Barker and Joss Whedon. Author of the non-fiction book "The Wedding Speech Manual" and the historical fantasy series "The Infernal Aether". He lives with his wife, two young sons and a slowly growing guitar collection. Probably a masochist: aside from writing and willingly speaking in front of large crowds of strangers, Pete spends his spare time playing music badly and supporting football teams that play badly.

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