Advice For The Father Of The Bride

FoB course thumbnailAs the father of the bride, you’re going to be the one that everyone likes – you’re giving away your daughter, someone you’re very proud of. The audience will be made up of your family, friends, friends of your daughter… You’re on home territory – there’s nothing to be afraid of!

Over the years I have seen plenty of extremely nervous fathers of the bride. Often it seems that they are in a worse state than the best man or even the groom!

I once spoke to a friend who was due to speak at his daughter’s wedding. The guy is a confident person, well-liked by his friends and with a great sense of humour. Why then, I asked, was he so nervous?

“I’ve done some public speaking,” he said, “but nothing quite like this. The main thing I’m worried about though is making a fool of myself in front of everyone. I don’t want to let my daughter down.”

As I explained to him, there really is no need to feel this way. In fact, the father of the bride is, in my opinion, the speaker with the least to worry about.

Everyone at the wedding will be on the father of the bride’s side. Think about it – as the father of the bride there are so many reasons why they can only be on your side:

  • You’re giving your daughter away – this is an emotional, important day for you and your family. As a result, you’re going to be a very sympathetic character – it’s a hard hearted person who isn’t on the side of the father of the bride.
  • You are the host. If you don’t think the fact that you’re giving your daughter away isn’t enough to get people rooting for you to do well, then I guarantee they will be rooting for their generous host to succeed.
  • You’ll be surrounded by your friends and family. I know that some families can be… let’s say difficult, but on days like this families do pull together and support each other.
  • As well as your daughter, her friends will naturally all be on your side – they’re there because they care for her and so will care for you. They will support you because they want your daughter’s day to be happy and special.
  • Everyone will want you to succeed – especially if you’re nervous, as there’s nothing like knowing someone’s nervous to make the audience want them to do well.

At the end of the day, the important thing to remember is that you’ve got the easiest job of all the speechmakers. No-one really expects you to be funny – that’s the best man’s burden after all. Be touching and sincere about your daughter. If you also manage to make them laugh (and I’m sure you will), then that’s a bonus.

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Peter D Oxley
Pete Oxley is a freelance writer and business manager who lives in the English Home Counties. He enjoys reading and writing in a wide range of areas but his main passions are sci-fi, fantasy, historical fiction and Steampunk. Influences include HG Wells, Charles Dickens, Neil Gaiman, KW Jeter, Scott Lynch, Clive Barker and Joss Whedon. Author of the non-fiction book "The Wedding Speech Manual" and the historical fantasy series "The Infernal Aether". He lives with his wife, two young sons and a slowly growing guitar collection. Probably a masochist: aside from writing and willingly speaking in front of large crowds of strangers, Pete spends his spare time playing music badly and supporting football teams that play badly.

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